Photograph



			How to Photograph A New Puppy !! Author Unknown

	Remove film from box and load camera Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle Choose a suitable background for photo Mount camera on tripod and focus Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera Forget about spot , and crawl after puppy on knees Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand Get tissue and remove nose print from lens Take flash cube from puppys mouth and throw it in trash Put cat outside and put perixode on scratch on puppys nose Put magazines back on coffee table Try to get puppy's attention by squeeking toy over your head Replace your glasses and check camera for damage Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, No, Outside !! No, Outside !!! Call spouse in time to clean up mess. Fix a drink. Sit back in lazy-boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" first thing in the morning.